Bedtime meditation
It is bedtime for Bean, and I am OVER IT. It's been a long, 3 day weekend full of so many lovely things: a family walk in the woods, homemade scones, silly moments and long stretches of rest. If there was ever a night to be at one with the universe and to be flush with patience it's this one. And yet. I am seething-. The stalling, the repetitive noises, the licking of the blanket bc I've expressly asked her to stop, the 40th reenactment of the Winnie the pooh Christmas special, the pinch in my should from holding the nursing baby, it's all just too much tonight. Is it the cumulative effects of 7 weeks without sleep? Is it breastfeeding induced hanger from the ongoing evening cluster feed? Anticipatory exhaustion at the thought that tomorrow is Monday, that school is virtual next week and it's my first full week back at work? Hormones? Mostly likely, it's all those things and about three more things I haven't even thought of yet bc my brain has become grey s